dear god...

last night,it was the most gladden day of my life..
for the 1st time ever, i felt like god actually listening to me...
it was like he talked to me for real...
maybe for some person,it was a lame n customary story...
but for me, it was worth it to be happy for it...

there were a lot of time, i tried to talk to Him n wishing Him to reply or maybe just show me some sign that He was listening,but there was nothing happen that i could relate to His listening...

last week,i was damn depress due to failure to get zachot for informatika...
some stupid n bangang subject in which one could never fail in...
but me,i was the last person in my whole batch to get zachot for that...

when i was preparing for the class,i could fell that i was gonna fail to get zachot again today...
i was so not confident bout it...
yeah it was because of some reasons...

1-i knew nothing bout d subject...apparently,no 1 does...
2-i was depending on toyol but dat toyol, i showed to the teacher last week tp rejected sbb tak cukup point...
3-i need to do access,word n spss...word n spss takde toyol..
4-the teacher in charge was a man with beard..my friend told me,he is a lion...hard to pass with him around...
5-it was only me doing it yesterday,if i front on with problem,no-1 to turn n get help...

so,i just went there tok sedapkan ati...
tak lepas pon tak pe la,just datang je...
yeah i set up my mind that ill come back tomorrow kot to do it again...
mmg totally ready for failure...

then mase tu la, i talked to Him...
i asked Him for His guidance...
no matter whats the cost,i dont care...
i just wanted zachot...
so i told Him...
"god,if u can hear me,plis help me to pass dis subject..aku nazar if i pass,i will..."ape nazar tu tak perlu la aku cakap...better to keep it to myself...
but apparently,my whole life,there were few times aku nazar tp i never get em...
paling sipi pon,spm...but only 9A but ok la...syukur gak...
tp felt like he was not listening to me...
up until now..

then mase sampai kat department tuh...
i saw dat man with beard in class...
so aku cabut tunggu for other teacher masuk class...
tp 15minit tunggu,takde...
argh fuck it...ape jadi,jadi la...lagipon aku tak mengharap pon zachot...
so masuk la class...

then he asked me "sto"=ape mau??
aku da la krong kreng ruski..
so i was spilling my gut just to tell him,aku nk zachot task to get the zachot...
sedang aku duk ber "ya...hachu...erk...erk...zachot zanyatsia...erm...erk...na sredu...delal...erk erk...prepadabatel........esho addin zanyat..."
tak abes lagi aku sebut zanyatsia...
die balas...
"ya ne panimayu"...=aku tak paham...
sudah...tak abes ckp lagi da kene tembak...
so tergaru la kepala botakku ape nk cakap..
then tetibe die cakap english ngn aku...
haa bole plak cakap english..taw awal2,takyah aku duk petik satu2 vacob ruski...

then buat la task zachot...
kene buat word n access..variant 1..
sudah...word mane ade toyol...
access lak tak cukup point in my toyol,da kene reject last week...

tapi god helped me,he heard my word...
so byk2 variant,aku kene d 1st one...
d question was,create a file document like the sample below...
ngeh ngeh ngeh...
senang ati aku tekan "ctrl"+"c" kat sample tuh,then paste in new document...

then access,i used the toyol...
since it was rejected last week,i tried to improve it...
tp 30minit aku tried,nothing could be changed...hayya gua tak reti la beb...
so mampus la,aku sent it to him..
die tgk sepintas lalu,then said the sacred word..
"bring me ur zachot.."

damn,it was like the happiest moment ever..
all my dount,uncertainty...sume padam...
at last,i passed it..
syukur...

n god...
thans for listening to me..
though i never be nice to u..
with hella sins i did...
u still help me...
for the 1st time,my prayer n nazar accepted...
it meant a lot to me...
thans...
u r right...u never leave ur servant...
it just me,forgetting n doubting u...
i repent...