who am i??

last night,i was lepaking with my roomie,zai..

we talked about so many things...

erk,precisely,he talked so much...

then,blaaa blaaa blaaa blaaa......he asked me,

"bro,apesal ko da laen skang...better than b4 this..."

erk,garu kepala...setahu aku same jer dulu n now..

make aku explained that kalau b4 nih,ramai dtg lepak...

so takkan la aku nk diam je kn,nnt sume mati kutu..

kire i adapted in order to have a better environment...

tp kalau da duk sorg2 kat depan laptop as in now,

takkan aku nk bising buat lawak sngsorg..

so conclusionnya,it was just his feeling...

tp thats pointless...

ape yg nk share here is d next question he asked...

"kalau org ramai,ko bising..but alone,turn to another person,then who r u for real??"

ttuttttttttttttt!!!!!!!terdiam seketika,

been long time i forget about this question...

kalau dulu,i used to ask myself,

what am i??

who am i??

honestly,i dont know what  kind of person i am...

even up until now..

sometimes aku rase aku O.K,but later K.O...

sometimes aku suke dgr citer2 agama,tp later aku dgr azan,tutup terus...

sometimes aku giler rajin study sampai tak tido,tp later seharian tak sentuh buku...

sometimes i hate masuk campur hal org,tp at last duk mengumpat org laen gak...

sometimes i love to talk to my family,but later nk call dorg pon tak ade hati...

people used to say,

kita manusia,kite adapt with the situation..

yeah i know...

but even if they are,surely they know which situation fit em better...

i mean,for example,between:

1-O.K,suke dgr citer agama,rajin study, tak suke masuk campur hal org laen,n love d family..

or

2-K.O, jadi setan, malas study, duk mengumpat n dun care bout family...

they know between 1 and 2,which one is their character..

and which one is a temporary character due to environment n mood...

as for me,i dont even know which 1 is me..

sometimes rase cam the 1st choice...

tp kadang2,1st choice tuh cam hypocrite lak...

thats why,most of the times,when people faces me and tell me,: 

"come on la wadie,aku da lame kawan ngn ko,aku knl ko camne...."

ill just smile cynically...think again, how come they r so sure about it..

since me myself dont even have any idea about who i really am..

i wish some day,ill find d answer...

maybe i should choose what kind of person i wanna be...

but i doubt ill be able to maintain it...

cuz if i was born to be a devil,theres no way ill become a human though i wish to be an angel...