god,please be nice to me...

theres less than 1month left before my final exam started..

pharmacology, internal disease, pat fis, pat anat and gen surgery..

yet,i still have a lot of colloq have not settled..

thanks god,ive no problem with pat anat,pat fis and gen surgery..

however,my farma and id still killing my dream to proceed to 4th year...

with 4colloqs for pharma n all the colloqs for id havent settled yet,

i sleep everynight with vacillation and nightmare..

i just dont know what to do..

pharmacology is way beyond my ability..

there are too much things to memorize..

n yet,my brain seems to lose its capability for long-term memory..

id...gosh,i never want to talk about it..

though its possible to read, understand and memorize it,

but my teacher oklabystin is 1 of the hell's guardian..

its almost impossible to impress him...

god,please show me the way...

last few months,i heard a rumor that my university has been quite strict..
if before this,its possible to drag the failed subject to the next year..
but now,the only choices left are to be expelled or to repeat the whole year including the subject that i have passed..
obviously,the 1st choice is out of my sight...
but to repeat the whole year,im gonna face another problem..
im a scholar..its not a pleasure for my sponsor to hear about my failure...
thus, jpa is going to terminate my scholarship..
so still, the 2nd option will leads to the 1st..
since i dont think ill be able to pay for my own food here in moscow..
wish im good enough to avoid both options..

i used to give admonition to my friend..

strive and fight till the last drop of blood..

dont stop fighting till the very end..

as long as u av a minute to fight,dont stop putting effort..

only later after that, feel free to give a shit about the possibility and result..

normally,i wont give a damn about those kate2 semangat..

but now,more than ever,i really need those words...

its gonna be a bloody month,restless..

but maybe its better than living in hell for the rest of my life..

god,please be nice to me...