masalah otak...

few days left before i go back to malaysia..
but now,worse than ever,
my brain is like exploding inside out..
wake up in the morning,
i curse the death angel for not allowing me to sleep forever..
standing in the middle of my room,
i wonder whats left to be the reason of living..


there are 2 xems left b4 i can go back home peacefully..
but it seems like i cant even look at the notes..
been 2weeks scramming my brain trying to absorb everything..
trying to read every single notes that are supposed to read for 365days..
in just 2weeks time..


i admit that im kinda lazy..
but once my spirit starts kicking,
ill be hardworking more than ever..
i can sit on my table n read for 10hours non-stop..
but at some point,ill reach my limit..
and i cant even understand a simple sentence from the notes..


guess 2weeks of studying so far has come to the limit..
now,i cant take any drugs nemore..
my reading is like the blowing wind...
just passing through my brain..


guess im having my old masalah otak again..
stress and depression..
i dont wanna wake up in the morning cuz the 1st thing come to my mind,
"its gonna be a stressful day.."
i cant sit on the chair...
"study and study,but i cant even read anymore.."
i cant do anything...
"if i do this,ill have less time to study"


living is like standing on a pair of fiery shoes on a thorn-desert..
its hurting but i cant take off the shoes,
or im gonna lose my feet...
though this pain will stop in 3days,
but its seems like every second worth million hours..
i just cant take it anymore..