hooo god,need ur help here..

i wonder whats wrong with me..
last few years,i didnt really care about my result..
good mark,well its my lucky day..
bad mark,i deserve it for being lazy all day long..


however,since last sem,
ive been putting all the laziness,movies and games away..
for the sake of improving my study..
guess what,im gonna have a "Dr" in front of my name in next 3years...
i cant stay d way i was forever..


but,
no matter how hard i try,
no matter how long i stay up late at night,
im still look stupid when ive to stand in front of the class,answering the question..
i know the knowledge is there somewhere in my rusty brain...
but why,why and why it seems to be so hard to dig em out..


people used to say,
mark is not important but the knowledge will define us..
god dont look upon the mark,but our effort..
usually ill just smile at em,cuz they have a nice attention to keep me calm..
but heres my thought..
if i fail the exam,
knowledge and god's impression wont take me anywhere
its the exam's result determine either ill be a doc or this whole 6 years of cramming my head wasted...
i dont wanna end up having the knowledge of a doctor while selling nasi ayam at pasar malam..
it will just waste my 6years of living..


maybe im putting too much effort on inefficient method of study..
theres nothing wrong with the effort...
but d way of my learning process is bad..
hooo god,need ur help here..