just dont be a fool!!!

i dont know why but its so freaking stressful tonight..
my roomies asked me to join em chilling tonight..
well,been a week they were trying to take me out to have some fun,
but i refused since my classes started at 8.30 in the morning..
so i promised me to join em on the weekend..
but here i am,still refusing to join as my heart is in not in the right place just yet..
or else,ill end up standing like a pig looking at people..

since yesterday been thinking the real meaning of a friendship..
one of my close 1 told me that i trust people too much..
valuing the meaning of friendship excessively..
not knowing whats actually got to do with a friend..

actually im still in shock..
as i never thought would be treated in a way that i would never do to my own friend..
a way that would put my friendship at risk..
at least intentionally..

what i learn from my brother..
theres thousand ways to be rich..
harder n slow moving 1 is by the right way..
easier n fast 1 is by dirty work..
i might use the easy way in business when it comes to someone that is not my friend..
but to a friend,instead of being selfish,id help em..
thats what i should do to a friend..
at least its what i thought of..

years ago,i let go 1 of my bestest friend..
as i felt like i was not a good 1 for her..
she was too kind to me..
but me,couldnt do so to her..
as i used to be selfish and putting more time for myself..
used to like being alone by myself..
thats how a friendship is,
when u cant treat 1 as a real friend,
dun just let em stand there like a fool..
d least u could do is not treating em like u dun care about em..
herm that was my opinion once and i used to hold onto it..
as friendship is a sacret bond between 2 human being..
but yeah now i miss her and wish i could be better for her..

i used to think that theres 2 type of person in our circle of life
1 that is called friend,the 1 who should be loved and cared as much as we can,
and the 1 called people that we know..
the 1 who happen to be around us..
but never have the chemistry with us..
they are not friend..
but just happen to sit with us as a colleague..
tell me whats the difference between those person and the 1 we found in a bus on our way to work???
yeah,the only different is we know their name and background..
thats it!!

my problem is,
its too easy for me to get attach to someone..
when someone starts asking bout my probs,i put em in my friendlist..
when someone lives with me for years,i started to think that i can trust him..
but the problem is,is he really friend??
will he be there defending me when someone is trying to stab me??
will he be sad when im no longer there around??

last holiday,
i got myself in a mess with a guy..
he called me to meet up..
but not just him,with his gang..
some of em is abang long kawasan siap..
i run to my friend and asked em to accompany em...
not that i wanted em to join the fight(if there is a fight)
but just to keep me calm..
to scare em and avoid his gang from joining...
as i intended to settle it 1-1..
but yeah kinda frustrated as i heard from my own friend..
"sorry bro,not my field"
for godsake,ur friend was in danger bro..
at least dont simply say as if like u dont care
show some appreciation for our friendship,would u??

last few weeks,
my bedmate back when i was in school added me in fb...
he started to have a chat with me..
i was so excited talking to a long lost friend..
considering the fact that he was my bedmate,i was so eager to talk to him..
was feeling freaking happy to know that hes about to get marry..
but those feeling only last for a few minutes of the early conversation..
once he started to talk about his business,
asking for my help to embrace his business..
i started to get frustrated and annoyed..
for almost 10years u never contacted me...
and out of the blue moon,u look for me for some help..
i dont mind helping bro..
but at least dont just directly fire away ur intention..
is it so hard to act as a friend till u got my trust..
then even if u wanna kill me,just go on..
uve been knowing me for ages,u know that its not that hard to get my trust what..
stupid!!

gosh,its true what had been said by 1 of my senior,
once u step on the campus life,
say goodbye to friendship..
everything is a lie..
everyone is a good actor..
the only thing that u should do is be selfish n put urself 1st before anybody..
its a bad thing to do so,but thats how it goes in here...
everyone does so..
u will only put urself at the end of the world if u still refuse to believe it..
as u will only be the 1 not doing it..
just dont be a fool!!!