7.09am!!!

dis is my 4th night staying up without any sleep from 12am..
but yeah,ive prepared for this by sleeping as early 7pm...
most of d time,i target to sleep for 5hours at least by setting the alarm...
but unfortunately,my biological alarm is set up until 3hours only...
if long time ago,i was barely wake up after sleeping for 8hours,
but now,no matter how tired n sleepy i am,ill wake up after 3hours,automatically!!
then once i open my eyes,though my head is spinning hard,i wont be able to close it back..
haeh whats wrong with me???

herm wondering what have i did for d last 7hours staying up..
of course studying...
if last night was studying microbiology,
tonigt it is turn for phat-physiology..
cuz less than 3hours,im gonna sit for test...
wish me luck cuz i really need it since phat-phys is the lord of the hell...
i dont know if those things i read are worth the time consumed...
cuz later ill have to answer few questions base on the application,
not just copy n paste from the note...
n sadly,im bad on this type of learning..
whatever,ill just do whatever i can...
even if i cant,toyol la..ape lagi...

god i need a sleep..
damn tired...
3hours slept last night was not enuf...
my brain is like gonna burst...
n my heart is already giving up..

homaigod,
smoking...
since when did i start to smoke cigarrette??
i dont even know..
long time ago,i hate it cus it will leave some rotten smell on my shirt...
n my breath,dont tell...
but last night,without even realize it,ive finished up 1 and a half pack of cigarrette..
i wish to stop,but studying alone in silence,i cant refuse it..
but yeah i will just stop,im not gonna buy another pack of cigar tomorrow...
so,even if i still smoke,it will only take 1 or 2 butt of cigar,tu pon pow mapreng la kot..
but d most important is,I WILL STOP!!!
cus god knows how much i hate it when bello says "ko bau rokok"
its not that i hate her..
but i hate it when people relate me to cigar..
cuz i miss d moment when i hate cigar the most...
i see what did it do to my father,
he suffered peparu berair,masuk hospital for few days..
i dont want to face the same thing...
n i cant imagine how sad he is if he found out bout dis...
yes,stop,stop,stop...
katekan gi mati ngn rokok..
haeh,why the heck people create cigar???

cakap pasal rokok,wanna say something bout shisha...
herm been few days tak sentuh...
padahal hari2 my crew set up shisha...
even if i take it,it will be like 1 or 2 puff...only!!!
cant imagine how bad cigar have turn me...
padahal dulu,pantang ade bau shisha je,im gonna go home fast just to set it up...
but its ok la tu,slow2 to stop..
takkan sampai tua nk berasap...
but im afraid if cigar lak jadi ganti..
sumpah i dont want it...
i love shisha more than rokok...
so if i stop shisha,i want to stop cigar...
damn it...
nape la russian jual rokok murah sgt...
kalau tak,ade gak ler reason kukuh nk stop...

back to phat-phys...
if i pass today's colloq...
then ive 1 more class ganti n 1 more colloq...
but im sure i can do em in 1 day..
yeah cool,then no more phat phys...
god i miss home badly..
i just wanna go home...
now!!!
i dont want to stay up late at nite anymore..
dun want to cram my head studying anymore..at least for a while..
i need some break to reset my biological alarm...
to reset my emotion...
to reset everything...
cpt la 14jan come to me...
so i can go home..
to the place where i belong...

omg,its 7am already...
2hours left b4 d class...
haeh,lady luck,pliss smile upon me..
pliss help me to pass this test...
pliss give me the benefit for my sleep-sacrificing...
pliss help me to regain the composure..
cuz rite now,is the moment when its possible for me to be crazy...
yeah im half way to be crazy...
the depression,tired and stress is buiding an empire inside of me..
7.09am!!!