gosh,im a loser :P

ok,dengan ini aku mengumumkan status kehidupanku as org takde life,pathetic and bosannnn...
since smalam 1 whole day tido,ive no mood to sleep today...
ouwh yeah its already 7am n guess what was i doing since last night??
game,stalk fesbuk and mengarut kat blog..
hey ya,im a medic student,mmg ler takde life..

gosh,just now,wasting time by listening to jiwang malay songs..
baik-baik sayang,puaskah,senja nan merah,pergi,aishiteru,bulan n erk warkah..




omg,watching the video clip bikin gua sebak..
naseb baek tak gugur air mata jantan ni..
imagine how does it feel when u have to watch someone u love is getting married..
n the worst part is,its not i walking down the aisle with her..
believe it man,it hurts badly even if u already moving on..kalau belom,lagi naya..
ive walked that path..

last few years,when i was in malaysia for holiday,
terdengar la desas desus ade sahabat yg nak kawen..
korek punya korek..
omg,it was my crush..
kitorang takde la in relation,but i had this strong feeling for her..
kena plak die macam kasi yellow light ala2 nk tukar green mase gedik2 duk kacau die..
at 1st,i wasnt planning to go there walaupon at that time,id move on..
cuz i just knew that i cant bear the feeling..
tup2,ade la sorg due member rapat ni duk cucuk suh ikut gak,
kawan nye pasal pegi la..
alasan die nice giler,nk aku sedar yg DIA DA KAWEN,JGN KACAU BINI ORG..
my god,kan da ckp aku da move on..
thanks radhi,thank u very very very much..

mase otw to perak tu,i was cool la..
still being the same wadie,gile,cakap byk n chill..
then sampai je,lepak makan2 sume..
i was still ok la..
sampai la saat mempelai lelaki sampai,
si dia kluar dari rumah..
looking at her,for the 1st time after so long..
my heart stopped beating,darah sume da naek kepala..
terdiam kaku and tak terkate...
then mase nk balik,all the way home,
i lost my mind...diam je dalam kereta..
tak tido tak ape..just looking at the window n mengelamun..
"why why why is this happening to me??"

few months later,
tengah kebosanan duk melayan yahoo messenger,
"ting",notification saying that someone had come online..
i looked at d name..
ouwh her..(not the married crush ok,aku tak kacau bini org)
it was a my scandal before i went to ktt..
kitorang almost got into relation but when i was about to confess,she disappeared..
ym tak online,fon no tukar...
naseb baek aku takde address die je,kalau tak,tak kire la kat sabah ka mana ka,kan ku pecut my nouvo lc to see her..
so bila da nmpk die online tu,aku pon tego..
chat punya chat,die tanye aku serius ke dengan die dulu..
i said yes n explained pasal nk confess sume..
then she asked me to look at her display picture kat ym tuh..
ouwh a baby..
"nephew ke??comel.."i said..
then mau terkeluar bijik mata aku bila aku eja 1 by 1 alphabet die taip..
"i..t..u....a..n..a..k....s..a..y..a!!"
omg,tak percaya..sangkaku gurauan kasar sahaja..
rupanya tak..
parent die nk die kawen awal and the marriage was planned by them..
she said that i was suppose to make d confession earlier so she could discuss with her parent..
haeh...
masa tuh 1 soklan je i could think of..
"knape benda pelik slalu jadi kat aku??"

month later,browsing the facebook,
got an event invitation..
bukaknya bukak..
jemputan  ke majlis perkahwinan.... and...!!
herm macam kenal je nama pompuan ni..
hoho again,my ex when i was in form 3..
tp sbb da lama gile lost contact,takde perasaaan..

and 1 last story to be told..
3months ago,
i was getting closer to my ex..
dikala manik2 jiwang mula timbul antara kami,
aku terdengar suara sedihnye di telepon..
there was some guy masuk meminang n her parent say yes..
mase tuh,aku da tak taw nk buat ape da...
blank,sedih,pilu..
laluku bukak youtube and dengar lagu ni...




kau pergiiiiiii..................

apelah dosaku sampai sebegini rupe cubaan demi cubaan aku kene alami..
nk kate karma,aku tak pernah rampas bini org..awek org tu maybe la..hihi..
knape...knape...
im definitely kene mandi bunga ni..
gosh,im a loser :P