sometimes lying is better than telling d truth...

been long time tak menaip...

being damn bz with tests and crap...

mate pon da naek lebam da ni...

haish...

tik tok2...

actually im kinda perplexed at the moment...

instead of distracted by the crazy tests,its also caused by some misunderstanding between me and 1 of my buddy...

well,i dun relly give a damn bout probs with others actually but when it come to my close fren, dis prob will fulfil every single space in my brain and my whole day will be such in hell...

moreover,dat person is d closest fren to me...

at this rate,i guess dat person knows almost everything bout me...

maybe not everything as ders some lil dark secret is better to be kept by myself

but at least,more than anyone else do...

dis prob prevailed becos of my nature,

easy to confess...straight forward...no hide n quiz or anething...

it happened that i'd a lil thing to say to dat person...

but i wasn't suppose to tell as i knew dat person is not the kind of person who could positively accept dat lil thing...

so i kept dat thing to myself for a very some time but later i found dat-this was not me!!!

having dis lil thing inside of me was like a burden...

every time i talked to dat person, i felt such a strong repulsive force wanted me to tell dat person..

but i just ignored it in order to immortalize our precious friendship...

i could not imagine losing such gud fren as dat person always der whenever i need someone...

probs with family,other best-buddy,inner conflict and lotsa more...

however,i was not a very strong person..

i could barely prevent dat strong force...

and yeah,i did it...

i confessed...

at 1st,dat person was like macholy accept it...

but later,d next day...everything changed..

dat person cant accept d fact i told...

and as i expected,no more talk between us...

n i could not imagine wats d future of our friendship...

damn,

sometimes i hate myself...

i do samting that i tot is a gud thing but it happen dat d consequences is totally contradict...

i dont know how many times such this situation occur...

n cant recall how many person quit from my life becos of me...

1 of my dude in class asked me why was i such in a sorrow during psycho class..

but i didn't relly tell...instead i left him some sort of puzzle...huhu

dude,wats bothering me is dat...

i hurt my own fren n i might lose my fren becos of dis...

dont u think dis thing would keep u in regret n sorrow??

well,not every problem has d solution,not every mistake can be forgiven..n not everything can be forgiven...

some of em need to be carried tru life...like lifting a big stinky iguana on d back without being able to throw it away...

telling u, yeah i AM carrying dis motherfucker on my back...regret n powerless...

b4 dis,i dont rely give a damn when hurt someone as for me,apology can cure it...

but this time,its totally difren...

1st-its my besfren i was hurting...

2nd-apology is not rely suitable to be applied as is it wrong to tell something real???to tell d truth??

knowing dat ders noting could be done to correct my fault makes me feel so powerless...

i want to fix dis...i want to save dis frenship but ders no way...

and dat makes me feel bad...

all i can do ayte now is...

wait and see....

*moral value is to think carefully before u do samting..

even though its a gud thing..(for u)

and sometimes lying is better than telling d truth...

but u need to learn to be a damn good liar...

or not,d consequences is unimaginable...