behind blue eyes

just now listening to this song..
deep down,it reflects myself..
i bet im the best hypocritical person on earth..
i used to throw smiles and laughs..
but inside me,i never knew for what n why should i smile nor laugh..

sometimes i looked at my friend,
they made faces,they laughed and smiled..
but around the corner of my brain,
i was thinking..
was it really funny??
cuz seriously i dont know how to judge..

back few days ago,
was webcaming with my fren..
she asked me,was i ok...
i asked her back,why...
she said that she could smell a problem behind my smiling face..
that i was faking my smile..
i said no,its just my face..
but deep down,i realized 1 thing..
been quite sometimes since my last sincere smile created..

guess its just the nature of life..
we want something but we will never get it..
i dont want to be hypocrite,
but i can help of turning myself that way..
life is just a pit stop...
its never a real journey..
theres nothing valuable about it..
just a place n time to be wasted..